Merry Christmas, dear friends of the blog.
I wish you a merry Christmas to all those who have read, written, or just had a look at these pages, to all those who have participated in the construction of the school in Africa and all of you that I have been close in these long months.
I hope that 2008 will bring joy and serenity to all of you, your families and loved ones.
And speaking of new year, I also suggest to all of us a purpose for the coming year: a commitment to work more because the blog is pretty quiet lately! What do you think?
congratulated the case and the intentions for the future, I can only think of you, dear Nerdix.
This time I fear that my words will be sad because Christmas without you is very painful and I have many thoughts and memories through my head and that in some way and I want to express.
I begin with a truism, that is telling you that I miss you so much, that you were really the best thing I've had, with the sweet thought that waking up every morning and fall asleep every night for six years now (yes, six years, from the first moment I met you).
I'm trying to remember every moment spent with you is not easy, indeed, is a pain because they are studded with millions of memories at all times and be less painful to drive back all but on the other hand, are what comforts me and comfort when I'm feeling very lonely, remember your smile, your r's dull, your joking, your being unique (they asked me to I do not know how to describe it: it was David, the only incredible David!) and all the thousand small and big things that I loved you, I love you so and I'll love you forever.
Every memory is a pain but has also become a precious treasure to hold on and stay with me in every moment of my life (the best memories, you ask? Surely all our holidays together, but especially in Puglia, in the first place certainly would put the proposal of marriage to Piazza San Marco, with the emotion and excitement that I read in the eyes and most of all struck me).
If today I can deal with it, to force myself to look ahead despite all that's why you have given me over the years and for what you taught me: to love life, to the end, the little things, a sunset, snowfall, sea, an evening with friends, to appreciate what I have: the health, a family, many friends who've sacrificed for me, a job, to have more confidence in myself, not being influenced by adversity but to fight and overcome, to see the world through different eyes: to see the positive side of things and the best in people, to be a bit more optimistic and less grumpy, and I've forwarded your desire to learn, travel, see, know. More than anything I know if I could say something today, it would be to recognize that life has given me: a great love. Just last year at Christmas I wrote that we had to consider ourselves lucky because many people do not know in a lifetime a love so great, well read this letter struck me ... almost as if you would tell me: is it true that we have lost everything but at least for a short period there was, and is already a great thing. And if you go back in time and told me to choose between living with you five years all this suffering and do not know, I'd always be you.
Sure, we had some difficult moments, we have encountered many times, but like you said you always, even being together is a job that requires time, dedication and patience and those critical moments we had passed all getting a good result.
I fight every day against pain and loneliness trying to fight back, I do it because I think of all the times you told me: "Grit your teeth and do not give up, will pass this time" (when the problem was that I had study and was in crisis because I could not see as much as we wanted).
So, love, grit my teeth, you know I'm a strong person and if you give me a hand up there, but this time we'll get together, like all other times.
Finally I thank you for everything you gave me, for all the love, for making me realize that I was really important to you, you were proud of two of us, who loved me and that you know to be loved.
The love that we ourselves did not die with you, I try to make it live anyway, so new and different. Keeping my smile despite the turmoil of feelings inside of me to save the people around me a bit 'of pain, adopting three children from a distance (you know why just three) and in other ways as I invent!
So, dear friends who have had the strength and courage to read and understand what I wrote, which was not pleasant, but now I think there is someone up there happy, not because I'd never said all these things person, in fact, just days before the accident we had spent an evening to talk about us and our future and we had almost said many of the things I wrote, but because I had the courage, confidence and perseverance in spite of my shyness, to declare publicly in the place that most would have appreciated: the famous blog.
So, dear David, I know that these lines are not many, I know that despite having spent several days to write all this, the result is poor, I know you'd really deserved the "Divine Comedy" and poems such as "A Silvia "But being neither Dante nor Leopardi, you have to settle for this.
Now I greet you my love and remember to help me a bit 'more because some days it's really difficult.
yours forever,
Chiara
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